What does it take to be cruel?

What does it take to be cruel? What does it take to stand in front of a person inflecting pain on another unflinchingly? It takes hurt, self-hatred, embarrassment and the loss of the will to go on. I can’t say that I feel sorry for every man or women made into a monster by society but I do stop to think how much pain they are feeling to cause this much raucous. 

A new year brings hope, a fresh plate to start with and to rewrite one’s story. A story cannot be one dimensional and the main character can interpret it as he/she wishes to.  But, however the story is told, one needs to like it. So, that is what I am trying to do. 

Meaning is a human contract, made in fear of uncertainty. It seems to be that life is a long ambiguous road made for a person to find the religion or life principles he would like to cling to. To live is to survive in the ambiguity and find the days you feel it in your heart to know what is true. 

I had spent the last year coming to agree with these ideas. There is a sense of freedom that comes with this acceptance. There isn’t a secret of life. I exist in the same way as others and I am not watched at like a main character in a movie. There would not be a meant to be or an act of fate unless I believe in it. There is freedom and wisdom from accepting that I do not know and there isn’t a time limit set for me to. There is also purpose and by fulfilling that comes, what I believe is true happiness. 

The binary thoughts of good vs. evil are like stories told to comfort children, but for adults. There is a strong fear of failure in everyone. We fall into victim mindsets sometimes to convince ourselves that we are indeed the good people in our situations. And, for us to be the good force we villainies other people, systems or philosophies.  I do not believe in trying to play the hero because heroes exist in comparison. They need foil characters to be known but we need to think of ourselves as dependent and dependable individuals with our own strong value system.  And that should not be solely to do what is right to be named a hero. 

The greatest relationship is one you have with yourself. As children we learn about relationships we develop our attachment styles from that. That could include how we feel about ourselves. Self-love is an integral practice that can determine the quality of a person’s life. It is a renewable fuel that drives the entire experience. I advise everyone to find ways to connect to your inner child and give the unconditional love a parent would to yourself. Self-love teaches you how to love others and to know how to understand your world of emotions. 

I hope that this year we could all try to be introspective and more open minded. We all need to value personal development and feel responsible to ourselves to achieve our fullest potentials. We should be ready to be students of life at every moment and to teach when needed to. 

By Liya Mekonnen